Expect the Unexpected

15 06 2010

As a working journalist, I am often afforded the opportunity to have experiences or encounters I might not, in the course of daily life, otherwise run up against. Indeed, one of the perks of the job (besides the excellent pay) is the chance to investigate interesting issues, met and interview fascinating people, and dive into the day’s news head on.

Also, you generally get to attend events with lots of free food, particularly of the sandwich platter variety.


In fact, an example of the way assignments’ can surprise you with the unexpected occurred this weekend. But before I detail the moment itself, I’ll explain why, in the service of journalism and the enlightenment of the masses, I travelled with camera in tow to a few choice proprietors of beer and spirits late Saturday evening.

My assignment was to capture the opinions of our local citizenry as per an indoor smoking ban soon to be effected within the city limits. At a sports bar of well-known distinction, I figured I could gather responses that reflected a thorough consideration of the issues, its pros and cons and just how much ammunition and dry goods needed to be stockpiled to resist the communist takeover of our American government.

While there I learned the shocking truth about our city council men, individuals, it was said, who were power-mad and filthy rich, determined to rob business owners and citizens of their God-given rights. That very night, a group of staunch companions agreed that their next week’s libation would have to occur in the comfortable, smokable air of their own homes.

Pictures were attempted to capture the decisive moment, the bargoers’ metaphorical fist (or perhaps middle finger?) raised to struggle against the oppressive reach of our elected officials. The bar, however, was very dark, the flash a little too overwhelming and the individual behind the camera rather inept, so close-ups of the outline of what could possibly be an ashtray were snapped instead.

The mission accomplished, I headed out toward the parking lot that wrapped around the bar. The spaces were occasionally interspersed with small, rectangular rings of landscaping, perhaps a tree and a bush or two. As I neared my car, I saw a man with his back toward me leaning against his own vehicle, positioned a few cars down and across from mine.

His car was parked near one of these outcroppings of landscaping and sitting on its curb was a woman of similar age and intoxication. With his car partially blocking my view, I thought, lightly amused, that the scene had the appearance of indecency — she seemed to be performing the act of oral sex. Ha, how ridiculous of me I thought, no one would ever do that in a parking lot, fully visible and not more than 30 feet from the bar’s huge, floor-to-ceiling windows.

I’ll be damned, I thought when I reached my vehicle, that is actually exactly what is going on.

The motion of the man hiking up his pants erased any lingering doubt from my mind as to the activity taking place nearby. The woman rose from her position, giggling at the realization that their impropriety had been spotted. “You’re crazy,” she said to the guy. “You’re crazy like me.”

I agreed with her assessment, think it sounded like a match made, engineered and destined by God himself. Although ostensibly the funniest and most interest moment of the night, it unfortunately could not be included in the story on the smoking ban. I work for a family publication, after all.




One response

16 06 2010

Ewwww! Once again you have made me laugh out loud. First at your writing about such an event and second at mom. 🙂

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